Found and Lost
In an effort to find you
I search thru stacks of words, filed
in dusty boxes in my mind
cobwebs and dirt
I never liked getting my hands dirty
But in an effort to find..
..you, I dig
and leaf thru pages
brown, brittle pages of you
I found that I clumsily
folded you in
Pages with dog ears
Stuck close by dead
(once) living things
I found you and I stared
And I searched me thru
Soliciting an emotion
a grim smile..or an awkward one
Maybe a tear or two…
I found you and I stared
For a minute and a day
I guess the drama of the sunset didn’t help
I guess he didn’t remember you neither..
turn your music down now
i did hear enough
it was all a flush of fraud and jazz
and smoke that made all eyes gash
it was a story worth my day
but not my year
'shed enough, 'poured enough
you are not worth it, so be away
like a map of places that aren’t there
a sound so sweet it poisons the ear
a beauty that fades
a deadly apple bite
a move so quick i almost died.
The Princess and the Pea
This centuries-old story is one of the few children stories that had a cling on me for reasons that I wasn’t really sure of. Maybe because it’s short and easy to remember ,and there were just 3 major characters- the queen (+ the pea), the prince, and the princess..
Almost 2 decades after I first read it, I found myself looking for a copy of it online. And i found one and there I go- running thru it again- this time plucking out a totally new insight from the story.
When I first read it, my amazement for the princess was more for her “physical sensitivity”; for feeling black and blue all over because of a pea that was under “twenty mattresses and ..twenty eider-down beds. ” I was thinking how sensitive must her skin be, how well was she taken care of, how rich they are - all that stuff. But i read it again tonight and I had a totally different insight about “the princess”.. and “the pea”.
The pea may represent the tiny compromises, the little disregards, pea-sized sins (if indeed a sin can only be so small) , which a fake princess might never really recognize. She is accustomed to huge compromises everyday that a pea-sized one will never even matter. She might not even feel it even if there was just one mattress! Yes, she might earn a few steps to the palace ground by her outward looks but not as close as the throne when the real testings come. Then she will prove to be unworthy for the prince- all because of a pea.
And then the princess.
The princess reminded me of a King. A king who raises her daughter well. Who teaches her in the way she should go.. how not to concern herself about the “outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes, ” and teach her to be clothed instead “with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit..”, which is in fact of greater value.
She reminded me of how well my father, the King, is raising me as I speak. She reminded me of the kind of “sensitivity” my body and soul has been trained into, the level of nobility I was given, and the honor of The Name that I carry.
I am.. the King’s princess.
And as His princess- I am not to be given to just about any prince. My prince must be raised in the kind of palace standards like I was. Of noble-birth. With royal identity.
He must no less be, the son of a King.
Epilogue (and Disclaimer also hehe):
This post is not at all exclusive but totally inclusive in fact . Just as the gospel is. When Jesus died, he did not die for just a select few but for the entire world. His furious love is more than enough to ransom us all. And everyone is included- if everyone would only believe in Him. We are all called to nobility- we are the sons and daughters of a King after all. Sometimes we lose the title to pea-compromises here and there, but the gate is always open for those who will change their minds and return and knock. He himself will open for you.
"Come back home, beloved," says the King.:)
Out of here! Out of here! Leave this place!
Don’t look back. Don’t contaminate yourselves with plunder..
Just leave, but leave clean.. God is leading you out of here..
" How tired I am of this unbearable distance between us
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me?
Tell me I am not writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart…”
A Noteworthy Infomercial :)